Almost Live Volume 3: Stop Making Cents (Playing catch up part 6)

Here we are, finally all caught up! As with the other two volumes this is a practice session for a live set we played, so there's not too much that can be said about it. There are new versions of several tracks originally from our album Hash Not Hash, https://thebrownchristmas.bandcamp.com/album/hash-not-hash

The one unique thing with this volume is that it opens with some actually live, and completely new recordings. We were setting up to play the show and were just planning to do a quick sound check. Well that sound check started sounding so good that we just kept going, next thing you know we have almost 15 minutes of new music. The soundcheck was not recorded on video, but the main performance can be seen here.
https://youtu.be/IyptQVJUYgA

Some Kind of Birthday Party (Playing catch up part 4)

Party animals rejoice, it's Some Kind of Birthday Party! There is indeed good reason to celebrate; this is my favorite album we've released this year, and probably a new high water mark for The Brown Christmas. You know you're in for something truly special as Al Santillo introduces the album with the words; "Every slice got something different on it..." Each track is a different experience, with different flavors of synth patches spread across the whole album.

Seamlessly we slip from the electronica infused melodies and shattering grooves of "Neon Glass," to the gritty lo-fi sizzle of "Crystal Shards," and  the silly chaotic panic of "Hyper Train Rail Workers." Dreamy guitar ambiences and soothing synth sax playing on "Lunar March," contrast the harsh walls of noise on "Storms of Jupiter." Deep rumbles of feedback attempt to smother the listener; occasionally allowing a pensive breath of fresh air before attempting to suffocate you again. There are absolutely no lulls on this album, it constantly pushes forward with the purposeful energy of a charging rhinoceros.

What really sets this album apart however, is that it rocks. It rocks earnestly, it rocks hard, and it rocks the full way through. The shredding solo on "Hard Nights, Harder Dreams" has no business being so hard hitting and emotionally charged. Revel in Joemazings ability to take his synth from sounding like it's on it's last breath short circuiting, to then emerge with a victorious crisp lead line. Feel the high energy orchestra hits of "Get Fucked or Die Frying" and prepare for a head to head battle in a cloud of synth drones. Wrap things up with the forceful growls of "The Last White Rhino" with it's weeping marimba-like solo, and you've got an album that's good to the last slice.

The art work on this album is also my favorite of everything we've released this year. A fun combination of several techniques that have been used on previous covers. Bright and welcoming, while also surreal and disconcerting; Michael Burke knocks it out of the park again.

This album is also available on KRXMA Records, be sure to check it out there as well. https://krxmarecords.bandcamp.com/album/some-kind-of-birthday-party

The Brown Christmas Vs. The Bored of Education (Playing Catch up part 3)

The Brown Christmas is the perfect cure for your boredom; with ten tracks covering everything from ambient, synth-pop, to sludge rock, you're sure to be entertained. Enjoy the loosely held together chaos that you've come to expect from The Brown Christmas. You'll find plenty of composed build ups and steep energetic slopes on this short rollercoaster ride.

The opening track "Raven's Talons" grabs the listener with piercing synthy claws, cascades through hazy drones, and drops you into a nest where you're devoured by abrasive chattering. As the anxiety of the first track fades away the tone shifts on "Leisure Speed" to a kind of triumphant yearning. This track is one of those catchy, almost pop tunes that seems to occasionally emerge from out murky slurry. A simple melody punctuated by a bouncy bass line, and gently fading away with a piano solo.

This leads to probably the highlight of this album; a slow droning version of "Cataract Jack" that is both ghostly and beautiful. What is normal a frantic, zany jig has been stretched out and melted. Deep percussive tones echo the main melody at a snails pace, while breathy textures create a sense of unease.

"Cataract Jack" is a delicate veil gently blowing in a dusty window; contrast this with bellowing heavy presence of "T-Boned Semi." Lumbering along powerfully, this track's defining feature is the sludgy distorted bass playing by Joemazing. I set a steady pace with the drums and then simply enjoy the ride as Joemazing pushes his mixer to the limit, turning it into a crunchy fuzz pedal.

From here things get kicked into high gear with the feverish "Scarab Outrun." We're skidding along barely maintaining control, kicking up plumes of dust, and quickly approaching a summit. With the toll of a bell we fall apart and gradually float to the ground with the track "Course Winds Blow Brittle Reeds."

The album ends with a short duet between the Roland D50 and it's modern recreation the D05. It's merry, light hearted, and the perfect silly goodbye.

Kings of Slop (Playing catch up part 2)

We here at The Brown Christmas pride ourselves on our sloppiness. It is only when you embrace the essence of slop, and reach deep into the viscous bubbling depths that you can find unexpected mixtures of accidental beauty. This album was recorded at the very beginning of January 2018, after not jamming for over a month we were fully ready to get sloppy again.

This isn't your average 'slop flavored fluid substitute,' this is quality pure distilled slop. Every minute of this album oozes thick, dense, textured, slop. Each track takes its time, slowly spreading and changing its texture, while also remaining concise and not overstaying its welcome. Most of the album keeps a fairly leisurely pace, allowing simple melodies to slowly reveal themselves over shifting ambiences, shining for a moment, then disappearing back into the sloppy ether. "Luck People" is a prime example of this; jovial arpeggios and Al Santillo loops provide a thin surface for mallet textures to knock on, eventually shattering the surface and dissolving.

The tempo picks up briefly as the monolithic "No Body Knows..." comes to an end and bursts into the frantic "Martini Rodeo." This is an all out assault of drums, synths, and guitar feedback; eventually falling apart, and leaving only a wiggly bass line. My favorite part of this album however, comes when the soothing lullaby of "Magic Mattress Bliss" shifts into the uneasy fever dream drones of "Starsand Hourglass." A heavy bellowing kick persuades the listener along a winding and unstable path of echoing bells, warbling ghostly howls, uneven synth pulses, and glistening rain textures.

The final track "Cyborg Vacuero" brings the tempo back to a frantic pace, closing the album with chugging guitar riffs and a squealing synth solo. This album demands several replays and deep listening; for just 30 minutes there's a vast variety of sound happening. At the time of it's release in June, Kings of Slop would have been my pick for our top album of the year. It has since been replaced by a different album, but is still a great listen. Check it out, taste the slop.

Walter Westinghouse (Playing catch up part 1)

I have fallen quite behind on these album write ups, but I suppose that's what happens when releasing new alums monthly, while also working on other projects, working a day job, and moving. So now let's see if I can get caught up.

With the recent passing of Hardy Fox from The Residents, it seems fitting to be starting with our  "Walter Westinghouse' cover album. The Residents have always been a favorite band of ours, they're probably the reason we started playing music together in the first place. So we jumped at a chance to be a part of their "I am A Resident" compilation contest.

We wanted to choose a song that was more of a deep cut, rather than going for something well known like 'Hello Skinny.' Walter Westinghouse was the perfect choice since the original is fairly long with a very simple skeleton that we were able to jam out on. The back and forth dialog of the original also gave both Joemazing and myself a chance to do funny voices.

As with most instances where we've tried to do something deliberate and constricted to a theme or time limit, it spiraled out of our control and out of bounds of the set parameters. What was suppose to be a recording session for one song quickly turned into a +30 minute jam session. Unfortunately we did not make the cut to the compilation album, so we took our submission and the additional jams and turned them into this short EP.

Three things

Here we go, catching up on the most recent three releases. I'm going to talk about them out of order since two of our recent albums have a very similar premise. I'll start with Tropical Fruits of All Kinds, released this past February; it's The Brown Christmas' taste sensation sweeping the nation and causing constipation. I believe this was one of those times Joe and I met with the intention of rehearsing for a live performance, only to end up recording completely new stuff instead.

Often times before I even have everything set correctly to record Joe plugs in and starts pumping out synth melodies. I'm certainly not going to leave a good melody hanging, so I quickly get the recording going and start jamming along. Before long an hour has passed and we have a fresh fruit bowl of new material.

When I listen to these recordings it conjures up images of late night adventures, wondering around quiet streets under lamp lights, and being convinced there's something magical or nefarious lurking just out of sight in the shadows. Highlights of this album include the whimsically upbeat "Out Drinking with a Friendly Moth" and the blissfully cosmic, "Asleep in the Stars" The former sweeps merrily up and down, riding a sultry evening breeze in search of sources of light. While the latter is a more stationary, sedated trip within and beyond punctuated by a deep sweeping bass drone.



The albums for January and March are both practice session of live sets. These are composed of new versions of previously released material. Volume one draws tracks from New Jersey Sound Machine and Go Ahead ...Call the Cops, as well as a new version of 'Nobody Knows what it's like to Eat My Dick Tonight." All this practicing and preparation and I somehow forgot to record the actual live performance. This is the next best thing to live.


Volume two is a large chunk from the album How to Make an Egg Cream. There are two takes included on this album, the first is Joe simply winging it and me messing a few things up. The second take is closer to what our actual performance end up sounding like. This time I remember to record it. It can be viewed here. www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3KHFw_VeV0

Both of the takes had their interesting aspects and since the only songs we have multiple versions of are "Nobody knows..." and "Cataract Jack" I figured I might as well include both versions of everything.

Haulin' Oats

Whether you're a Quaker or a baker, if you've got oats you need hauled The Brown Christmas can get it done in no time flat. Around the holidays more than ever we get tons of oats that need hauling; and if you're speeding across state lines with a truck load of legally questionable oats, you need some good cruising tunes.

As with our previous album, guitar is featured prominently on Haulin' Oats. The opening track begins with Joemazing chugging away, before messing around with his guitar's faulty wiring to make it scream like a hawk. The synths and drums create a slow moving, lightly textured framework for Jomazing guitar to gradually melt over top. This destruction continues on "Mass of Choronzon," as I play some dramatic string samples and Joemazing screams and distorts things into an unrecognizable mess of feedback.

The tempo takes a more upbeat turn as a circus melody emerges from the ashes of the previous track. A deep bellowing synth line bounces us along drunkenly before building to a growling drone, as silly melodies dance around. The ferris wheel is rusted, the bumper cars are short circuiting, and the carnival barker is in a radiation induced rage.

Overall this album has an aggressive, lo-fi, abrasiveness that is best exemplified with my favorite track, "Missa pro Defunctis." This melancholic march sounds like it was ripped from a withered VHS tape; a simple but effective melody punctuated by drums, is made all the more epic when complimented by the thick analog drone that emerges about halfway through the song.

The closing track is another high point, and possibly the best version of "Nobody Knows what it's like..." we've recorded to date. We take turns belting out the lyrics as over the top as possible, and I do my best emulation of the drums from "In the Air Tonight."

That's about all I have time for, these oats aren't going to haul themselves! We've got deadlines to meet, and the oat hauling business is very competitive. This album is a great example of our grittier, lo-fi, noise sound. Give it a listen.

Chair Club for Men

Enjoy the most luxurious sitting experience of your life! The Brown Christmas is proud to introduce our latest business endeavor; the Chair Club for Men. We provide only the finest chairs in a wide variety of styles, both modern and classical. All of our applicants are screened very strictly, so you will be guaranteed an environment of only fellow chair enthusiasts.

While you're having a relaxing sit in one of our award winning chairs you can listen to our newest album. You'll find that one technique we often employ when recording is to take a simple theme or melody and turn it into an epic wall of textures. We open the album in this manner, with the gradual swelling of "Edge of the Void" which blooms into the monolithic second track "The Colossi of Memnon." The track ascends with the massiveness of an ancient giant emerging from it's slumber in the sand. Deep bellows from Joemazing's synth are punctuated with a more pizzicato string-like swirling melody. Crashing drum samples propel the song forward in a lurching motion as the otamatone breaks through with a screech of victory.

You'll find this same technique again on "The Serpent Swallows," which begins with a pensive drone and driving drum machine pattern, before building tension with increasing layers of atonal drones and seesaw arpeggios. The heavy breathing of Joemazing's synth adds to the anxiety as I dance around with a playful yet eerie melody.

On the track "Rain Dance Brings New Life" we have a slightly different style of building intensity. This time we work more with percussive textures, stacking them haphazardly on top of one another generating a chaotic down pour. These slowly change and disperse, opening up space for playful bird-like melodies. These simplistic chirps soothe the listener into the enigmatic final song "Puzzle in the Dark."

After this we get a short reminder from Joemazing about the importance of proper chair maintenance for both quality sitting and quality tone. So send in your applications today, we have a limited amount of openings for this most exclusive club.

Booty Sammich

Although our albums are 100% improvised, leaving plenty of room for unexpected sparks of inspiration to kindle, there are two themes that seem to emerge with some regularity; we like to call them: spooky and spacey. More often then not I am the one generating the spacey feelings, and Joemazing creates the spooky feelings, although this is not exclusively the case. Maybe the music we create just naturally lends itself to visions of slowly moving massive celestial bodies in an expansive void, and of dark otherworldly forces clawing their way out of dreams and into our waking life. So here is Booty Sammich; a little spacey, a little spooky, and always a little silly.

How to Make an Egg Cream

The Brown Christmas is equally skilled in the culinary arts as well as the art of love, our latest cookbook/erotic novella perfectly exemplifies this. These tunes are perfect whether you're in the kitchen or in the bedroom.

We are now in the final stretch of our unreleased catalog, all recordings from here onward are only about a year old. We entered 2016 with a auditory exploration that begins light hearted and innocent, leads to the triumphant sounding "A Thousand Risen Suns", then slows to a crawl. At this point we gradually enter darker and dark territories, reaching a peak with the punishing electrical sizzles of "The Crushing Weight of Nothingness." Eventually we emerge from it unscathed and can breathy easy again with the cheery, round-a-about melodies of "Scattered Rolling Beads of Light." Finally we wrap up our adventure with "Hundred Foot Strut," a hard grooving tune with a squealing synth solo.

A solid chunk of this album is tethered together with a deep, pulsing kick drum; keeping a slow steady pace while melodies and textures are exchanged. Joemazing's knack for creating interesting textures really shines through on this release. He lays down a nice skin of sound ranging from subtle spooky drones, piercing shimmers, to thick walls of synthy distortion.

It's not an easy task to make an egg cream, but with our new album anyone can learn!

Go Ahead Call the Cops

I usually try to write a little bit about each album when I release it; this time I was a little lazy/a little busy and didn't get a chance to sit down and type something up until now. I also occasionally find it hard to write anything of interest about certain albums. Sometimes there are no funny anecdotes from the date of recording, no particular concept in mind for the album, sometimes the album is just really good, and there are only so many ways I can say an album is good.

 ...and this is indeed a good one.

This album definitely takes the crown from Dick Hz as our most aggressively noisy release to date. A large factor in this I believe is Joemazing's extensive pallet of synth and percussion sounds on Go Ahead Call the Cops vs his almost exclusive use of guitar on Dick Hz. While not necessarily abrasive the full way through, there are some softer and more melodic tracks that mix things up, when it does get hard it gets rock hard and sonically dense. The version of "Nobody Knows..." on this album is also one of my favorites, ending the album with a definitive slam like the closing of a book.

So there's not much more I can say about Go Ahead Call the Cops, except that you should give it a solid listen. It marks our 12th consecutive monthly release and we have many more to go before we're fully caught up, but I think this is a fitting mile marker for essentially a years worth of music.

New Jersey Sound Machine

There are a few of our albums that really standout for one reason or another, this is one of those. We are very much at the top of our game on these recordings and I would now consider this to be the best thing we've released so far.

This album covers a multitude of musical territories, but over all I would say there's a definite psychedelic feel to the tracks. The first song Self Born Cosmic Egg, opens the album feeling very spacey and mystical, before we intentionally or unintentionally, summon dark entities and split a hole between worlds (see tracks Dweller of the Abyss and Broken Seal of the Inter-dimensional Wall).

Have noo fear however, we here at The Brown Christmas are skilled in all kinds of occult mysticism. There's no need to shield your chakras or break out your quartz crystals, everything is well within our control. We'll guide you back safely and finish the journey with some dumb lo-fi rock.

Discrete Santa

Warm up those chestnuts, slurp down a frothy glass of nog, and get the christmas spirit deep inside you; it's Christmas on Craigslist again!

It's a bit of a Christmas miracle that this album exists at all; we recorded these tracks back in December 2014 with the intention of releasing the album the following year. Foolishly I didn't back the files up, and the hard drive they were on became corrupted. It seemed as if this jam session was lost to the computer gods. However after some research into data recovery I discovered that the files were just trapped in purgatory. Then it was just a matter of having the time and money to recover everything.

I was thrilled when everything was fully recovered and I had an opportunity to listen to what we had recorded for the first time in 2 years. There are some really solid Craigslist classics on here like "Mistress for Christmas" and "16 Days of Christmas", not to mention some non-craigslist originals like "Hey Who Put these Chestnuts Here?" and "Santa Doesn't want to go to Work Today."

These are sure to become your new favorite carols to sing. Maybe you'll even hear a track played on Jon Solomon's 25hr Christmas Marathon on WPRB this year.

Enjoy Your Christmas and remember to be discrete!

Christmas Retrospective part 3

Our most recent Christmas album came out 2 years ago and was a double mini album, if that makes sense. The first disc contained new christmas recordings from 2013, a couple of these tracks were new craigslist Christmas songs, and the rest were our rendition of christmas classics. Unofficially this is Dicks Pics volume 3 1/2.

The second disc was something rare indeed; The Brown Christmas rehearsing. These recordings were from 2012 in preparation for a noise fest we were playing. Basically these were our favorite, and most easy to recreate, songs from A Craigslist Christmas. One of my personally favorite moments from this disc is the addition of a brief break down in "Got No Girl" were Joemazing pounds out a maniacal rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy."

The spirit of christmas was alive and well in our bowels and with a little time, construction paper, glue, glitter, wrapping paper, and anything lying around on the floor, we created custom stocking packaging for each set of discs. We still have some available for sale, although if you purchase one you won't get it by christmas because preoccupied with various other christmas duties.

Christmas Retrospective 2

Oh no, it's Christmas again! It took three years for us to put out another Christmas album, but I believe the wait was well worth it. As the name suggests A Craigslist Christmas is not only a christmas themed album, but is also volume two of our Craigslist series.

For those not in the know, several years ago we started scouring craigslist casual encounters for the dirtiest posts we could find and would then use them as improvised lyrics for songs. So it seemed only natural that when Christmas came along some of these posts got kind of festive, and thus A Craigslist Christmas was born.

The tracks on this album are delightfully dirty and seasonally sexy. Highlights include the upbeat rocking "Got No Girl", The abrasive droney "Christmas Cums for Santa", and the hip-hop classic "My Name is George" which is one of our all time favorite craigslist tracks ever.

Escape from Margaritaville

Take an adventure to the dystopian Stalin-esque world of Margaritaville; where workers must toil endlessly in the salt mines and lime tree fields. Freedom can only be found in the lonesome void of space. Will our protagonist succeed in their attempt to escape? Perhaps, with the help of a certain brick oven pizza proprietor.

This is sort of a retconned concept album; a theme inspired purely by a title, imposed over a typical improvised jam session, and left up to the listener's imagination to create their own sci-fi thriller. A rather compact album, clocking it at under 30 minutes, Escape from Margaritaville is a quick sonic trek through clangorous oppressive beats, heavenly swells of squealing saxophone, and ambient space narration.

A memorable moment from this jam session was mid recording when, after much plugging and unplugging in an attempted to rectify a lost signal, Joemazing opened the top of a bargain bin mic he had been using. Much to his disgust he pulled out a filthy, crumbling, piece of what I can only assume was once foam insolation.

Once again I must commend Michael Burke on the terrific album artwork he created, it creates the perfect atmosphere and turns this silly title into a full formed concept. For maximum appreciation, pour yourself a margarita, pop on a good pair of head phones, and let the artwork inspire your own narrative adventure

Party like a Fireman

Recorded a mere five days after Where the Moon Don't Shine, Party like a Fireman is a nonstop sonic journey of madness spanning just over an hour. Where as our previous album had an emphasis on more orchestral, soundtrack-like, or ambient tunes; this one has a more beat driven, industrial, and over all darker tone. That's not to say it's all doom and gloom. There are several upbeat and comical moments, but they all seem to eventually veer into an uncomfortable waking dream state.

While our recording sessions are usually long continuous jams, by the time I edit them down to a suitable album length there are definite breaks between songs. This album however I believe is our first continuous album, with each track transitioning into the next uninterrupted. What begins as an initially plodding beat with "Macaroni Pudding" and quickly shifts gears to an uptempo groove with swells of shimmering synth strings, continues on an unbroken path eventually ending with the dissonant drones and maniacal screaming of "Nobody Knows what it's like..."

The highlight of Party like a Fireman is the suite of "Stan" songs which are equal parts danceable and bizarrely comical. Joemazing's verbal tricky with his trusty Giga Delay take center stage on these tracks. This section climaxes with a reprise of the melody from "Atmospheric Reentry" then shifts into darker territories for the latter half of the album.

I should also mention that the fabulous album artwork was made by my friend Michael Burke. After editing fifteen or so albums and creating artwork for the previous six I'm kind of burnt out, so expect to see more of Mr. Burke's art on future albums.

Where the Moon Don't Shine

I'm quite proud of this album, it's one of my favorite jam sessions of this "Album a Month" series. Where the Moon Don't Shine may be the best thing we've recorded (as a duo) although I can't promise I won't make that same claim again next month. It certainly marks continued growth and maturation of our sound, and I would argue that the steps forward we take in this album are seismic.

This is a truly dynamic collection of controlled chaos. We run the gamut between quite minimal ambiences to lush walls of sound. The track Lughnasadh for example, is a continuation of the soft dreaminess from the previous track. A simple string melody is introduced by Joemazing, and then through a combination of audio loops, arpeggiators, midi, and live playing we create a massive orchestra like swell of rousing, joyous, synthy goodness. On the opposite end of the spectrum Dark Forest Ritual takes a similar approach, but instead builds to a haunting sinister atmosphere punctuated by quaking drums and ghostly recorder fluttering.

The middle section of the album is a madcap suite of gorilla circus insanity. It became so zany and out of hand that we had to pause from a moment and make sure everything was still plugged and working properly; proving once again that the Gorilla can not be tamed.

The last section of this album contains several tracks that are probably unlike anything we've done before. Repetitive loops phase in and out of sync and climax in the massive 19 minute final track of cacophonous intensity.

I'm also quite proud of this album because it's our first to be released in physical form and not self released. Orb Tapes has a limited run of Where the Moon Don't Shine on cassette. Pick up a copy and check out their other awesome releases.

Brown 'til Dawn

Prepare for some sexy late night grooves with The Brown Christmas on this concept album presented as an overnight radio program.

I am a big believer in the idea that the setting and time of a jam session has an overall effect on the music produced, which is why this is such a unique album. Back in November of 2014 I switched over to working an overnight shift for 2 weeks. In preparation for this sleep schedule shift I seized the opportunity to record a Brown Christmas jam at uncharted hours of the night.

The result is Brown 'til Dawn, a fictional radio show airing weeknights from 1am to 6am. The tracks on this album are far more mellow than perhaps anything we've done before, and as tongue-in-cheek as the whole 'erotic late night broadcast' is meant to be, the music oddly fits that aesthetic. What started on Tugboats, Trolleys, and Trains and was refined on Good Enough to Screw is fully realized on this album, as we take our normally experimental/noise sound and fuse it with a more funky feel.

So dim the lights, grab your self a drink, snuggle close with your lover of choice, and enjoy Brown 'til Dawn. 

*For full effect it's probably best to listen to this between the hours of 1am-6am

Contemporary Adults

Enjoy some music for the adult of today! We here at Brown Acres Enterprises realize that today's discriminating adult will not settle for just any flavor of music. That is why we are proud to offer an alternative to the mainstream. Contemporary Adults starts smooth and finishes strong, always full flavored never watered down.

This album starts off slow and spacey with docile drone tones before taking a sharp turn into more gritty lo-fi tunes with our bizarre cover of Pantera's Walk. The madness continues with a long overdue circus performance by the Gorilla. The astute listener will also notice Joemazing shredding on the Otamatone on several tracks, an instrument that hasn't made an appearance on an album since L.E.D Zeppelin V.

Please listen responsibly